I don’t find thin people attractive. At all. And this isn’t coming from a jealous lens. If I wanted to be “thin”, I would. Bring on the bulimia, stimulants, and constant exercising. None of that sounds fun. Why would I want to live my life in misery? So some random stranger finds me physically appealing? No thank you. Hate to burst the bubble, but there are plenty of people who are attracted to curves, rolls, cellulite.

Big girls are the best to cuddle with. We are soft and warm. Squishy. We will big spoon the hell out of you. And then make you a sandwich. Or pizza rolls. Depends on what’s in the kitchen. That may be a Drake line, although I highly doubt he has every enjoyed a big girl. Also #teamkendrick. The point is you get soft cuddles and snacks. Now who doesn’t love that?

The part that miffs me is the secrecy. Like sir, if you are as forthright as you are in your messaging, then you sure as hell can be as forthright in public. I’ve been with men who love a big girl behind closed doors but would never be caught dead with one in public for “image reasons.” Well that’s fine, I guess me ignoring your early set baldness, short stature, and bad teeth because you had a good personality and sense of humor was too kind of me. It doesn’t matter how good the D is, you deserve to be shown off and loved out loud.